 Key Messages
“Fatherhood is not just a role – provider, disciplinarian, friend – it’s also a relationship, one that transforms us as much as our kids.”
- Samuel Osherson, The Passions of Fatherhood. 1995.
As we listen to African Dads talk about fatherhood it is very evident that they feel that one of the most important things they can do as a father is to “be there” for their kids. Being present for your child will look different based on your life circumstances and your child’s age, but at a minimum, it means doing everything you can to connect with your child in manner that helps them to thrive and enjoy life.
Your daily choices to “be there” for your child are relational decisions that involve not only your child but also other important people in their life. How you relate with your child’s mother, teachers, extracurricular activities and friends helps them to grow to their full potential. We hope the pages in this section of the site can help you reach your potential as a 'number one Dad!'.
There is no such thing as a fatherless African child. Every African child had a father or has a father somewhere, even if they don’t live with their father or see their father very often. Many men can play the role of father to a child, including grandfathers, uncles, step-fathers, foster-fathers, older brothers, cousins, family friends, and men who have responsibility to care for children.
Children need and want the care of men. Children in all African cultures value the idea of a father or a father-figure. They are taught to respect men, and children want to spend time with men and learn from them. Children also have great fun with men through adventurous and boisterous play.
If you don’t live with your children, don’t lose contact with them. They appreciate hearing from you and knowing that you care about them. If you can’t support your child or provide materially for their needs, you can still give them love, affection and support, and you can still offer them guidance and help.
 If you live with your children, be kind to them and don’t hurt them. You are so much stronger than they are, and your strength is given to you to protect them from harm.
Children need the care and protection of all men. A man can make all the difference to a child’s life by preventing or stopping abuse perpetrated by other people. Men need to protect children in the neighbourhood, at school, on public transport systems, and in the home.
Young men benefit from staying in contact with their children and they may do more to protect themselves from harm and to be economically active as a result of knowing that the child they love depends on them.
Courtesy of the The Fatherhood Project (HSRC 2004)
The six primary prevention approaches to reducing child maltreatment have been identified:
• Establish a positive view of children: valuing them in their own right rather than primarily for the manner in which they meet the needs of others, respecting them as individual human beings with rights to protection and gradually increasing levels of autonomy, and understanding that they are exploring and contributing to their social worlds
• Change attitudes and beliefs about physical punishment
• Reduce adult partner violence and educate about the impact of adult partner violence on children
• Address adult alcohol and substance abuse
• Create accessible and responsive support systems that parents can easily engage with
• Provide parent education and child management skills to all parents.
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First draft of the AFI Training Manual on tackling abusive behaviour. Comments, additions, improvements welcome!
