Committed fathers love spending time with their children, but with today’s pressures of work and other priorities, it can be challenging to find ways to make quality and quantity time with the kids. Here are some important resources for fathers to help make more time, and better time, with the family.

1. Pace Yourself

10. Start Having Family Night

Evidence is piling up from America and Europe that men are disatisfied with the competition between work demands and parenting.

America

In 1996, the Gallup Organization conducted an opinion poll called "Fathers in America." This poll was one of the most comprehensive ever looking at attitudes of and about fathers and their roles in society. Some of the most interesting results of the poll are summarized below:

• In response to the statement, "The most significant family, or social problem facing America is the physical absence of the father from the home, " 79.1% of poll respondents agreed or strongly agreed with the statement.

• In response to the statement, "It's important for children to live in a home with both their mother and father," 90.9% of respondents agreed.

• 54% of respondents felt that most fathers did not know what was going on in their children's lives.

• When fathers were asked about their relationship with their employers, 61.1% of them felt they would be more productive at work if their employers implemented more family friendly policies.

A 1991 survey by Fortune Magazineconcluded that 75% of fathers surveyed indicated that they would trade rapid career advancement for the chance to leave more time open to their families.

The National Center for Fathering's Gallup Poll in 1992 found 96.8% of those responding agreed that fathers should be more involved their children's education. 54.1% agreed that "fathers today spend less time with their children than their fathers did with them."

So it is clear that fathers have an important role to play in the lives of their children. It is also clear that many fathers are failing in that role. For example (2005),

• An estimated 24.7 million children in the United States (36.3% of all children) live absent from their biological father.

• Today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce, 60% of divorcing couples have children, and over one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.

• About 40% of the children who live in fatherless households haven't seen their fathers in at least a year while 50% of children who don't live with their fathers have never stepped foot in their father's home.

Well, dads, we have a big job to do, and we need to do it better. But the challenge is to do it effectively.

I certainly know many committed fathers who, if their financial needs could be met in other ways, would quite work and be full-time dads. But that opportunity is not afforded to many of us. So the rest of us have to engage in a balancing act: trying to keep work and profession, family, and personal needs in a dynamic equilibrium.

Being a super-dad does not entail, at least for me, giving your full time and attention to your family and children. The true mark of a super dad is making family your top priority: maximizing the time you have to spend as a dad and then making that time of the highest quality.

The fact of the matter today is that fathers can't be all about fun. Even if you only have your children every other weekend, that time can't be just "Disneyland Dad" time. While it is important to have fun, you also need to cultivate responsibility and values in the lives of your children.

So in my mind, a super dad is all about balance. It is about balancing time and priorities so your family really does come first. It is about keeping the other aspects of your life (work and personal) at their appropriate levels. And it is about giving your children a well-rounded family experience with appropriate amounts of fun, work, service and values.

Super Dads Have A Plan. So many dads I know just move from day to day trying to work through what the day brings. But Super Dads create a fathering plan that allows them to focus on that which is most important. For example, with my demanding professional schedule, if I didn't plan family vacations about a year ahead, we would never have one. Planning involves examining values, setting meaningful family goals and then acting on those goals with a calendar in hand.

Super Dads Take Time to Teach. Fathers need to understand that one of their most important missions is to help their children learn timeless values. Dads need to teach the value of personal responsibility, of work, of family commitment, of honesty, of faith, and of service. Children need to learn the hallmarks of a happy life, and fathers play an important role there.

Super Dads Make Time for Family. One of the important things we have done in our family is to set aside one evening per week that is just ours, and that is not violated by other demands on our time. Wise fathers will recognize that "quality time" is not enough if there isn't at least some "quantity time."

Super Dads Make One on One Time. While you can build positive memories and experiences with family activities, true relationships are built with your children one at a time. Make sure you don't neglect that one-on-one focus. These can include fun activities as well as personal "interviews" with your children.

Super Dads Take Care of Themselves. You can't afford to neglect your personal needs and have something to give your children. Dr. Stephen Covey uses the example of taking time to "sharpen the saw" rather than continually sawing with a dull saw. Making sure you eat right, get some exercise, see your doctor and dentist periodically and have a rich spiritual life are all important components.

Super Dads Emphasize Relationships. If you are still married to your children's mom, you must nurture your relationship with her. I have always believed counsel I heard early in my life that "the best single thing you can do for your children is to love their mother." If you are not married to your children's mom, you still understand that personal relationships are critical to a happy life. Whether with your children, your friends, or your significant other, don't neglect relationships. And help your children see that value in their lives as well.

Fathers who hope to find themselves in the Super Dad category need to effectively balance their time and priorities to put family first, to offer both quantity and quality time to their families and to balance between family time and individual time with your their children. When these things are accomplished, then you have earned the title, Super Dad.